FATE

I still remember the day I heard this news. I had been talking to one of my friends grumbling about the fact that my parents were not taking me to that party. I could not believe it. Just could not. For I had met him only a few days ago.........

We knew each other since we were small kids. Our families were neighbours and our dads served in the same unit. He was studying in Sherwood at Nainital and used to come over during vacations. I did not see
much of him but he was like an elder brother. He was brilliant in academics and equally good in sports. One day he happened to join N.D.A., which I think must have been a dream come true for him. After four years of tough training, he graduated from I.M.A. and became a proud lieutenant of the Indian Army. He joined the same unit which his father had commanded. He was the future, the hope and the darling of not only his parents but all of us who belonged to the unit.

During the leave before going for the young officers course he came over home along with his parents. He looked bright and cheerful and full of life. While they were leaving, I asked him “Hey! What do I call u now – uncle or bhaiya?” He was taken aback by the suddenness of the question and left saying that he will think about it. But you know what, I never got the opportunity of calling him either because the cruel hand of fate snatched him away from all of us before I could meet him again.

On 26th July 2003 all of us of 102 Engr Regt in Pune were excitedly looking forward to the unit get together at the officers institute. He looked forward to it too. But on his way to the institute he met with an accident, which by all accounts seems so illogical that it cannot even be described. What a way to go for such a precious life. The years of nurturing went waste in a flash. The hope and the future vanished. LT ANKUR BHATT, son of proud parents Col and Mrs VK BHATT, was here with us now, but so far away in only a moment that it left us all aghast at the way destiny can turn.

My heart would never reconcile to address him as “late” because I know even if invisible, he is here with us and his family for the rest of our lives. But in the end I would like to ask god a question though.
WHY DO YOU NEED PEOPLE ONLY WHEN THE WORLD NEEDS THEM THE MOST??

I LONGED..... (poem)

This is a poem I wrote in my OB(organizational behaviour- I am wondering if I really should have been so specific. :D) class. It was something that came very naturally. I hardly made a mistake while writing it. It's a SENTI poem, so bear with me. But it is dedicated to all the wonderful people in my life, without whom I would not have been what I am today. Cheers to all of you.( I am sure they know that I am talking about them. Mom, dad, brother, my family..... my three best friends and my other really close friends.)


I longed to be better
I longed to strive
I longed to see someone
with a smile to bribe.
The bribe to help me
to do better in life
A hug to encourage
A kiss when I cried.
I longed and longed
turning it to need
Then, as time passed
it turned into greed.
And then.....
Then, I found you
to give me the shoulder
to be my guide
Giving hope
to all that had died.
Life turned
For I fell in love,
in love with all
you had in store for me.
The smile, the hug,
the push, the kiss
filling up the hole
my heart had dug.
Now, as I am away
I long for the touch
the familiarity of the hand
clasped firmly in mine
but the sound of your voice
proves to be just fine.
Cherish the times
Soft and fragile as a feather
and have the faith
that we'll be the same together.
Now this moment
propels me to say
that the longing
has finally gone away.
My heart filled
thoughts high as a queen.
Hope these words tell
Just how much you mean.

‘HORROR’-SCOPE - Strictly for youngsters

This piece was written by me quite a while back. I had taken inspiration from one of my school magazines where the head girl had written on the same lines. It was just one awesome way to lighten the mood, laugh and have fun reading. So, here is my version of it. All modified from the way I had written it earlier.(trust me, you do not want to see the older one) Do bear with a few mistakes. But more than that, ENJOY yourselves.



Aries Mar.21-Apr.20
Aries know how to get their way. Now, we have no doubts about why they spend most of their time outside a class fuming. You know, at being thrown out of it. Basic motto in life: Never give up! Try, try till you succeed. On another note, they can be caring and compassionate too.

Taurus Apr.21-May.21
‘Laughter is the best medicine.’ Once provoked, Taurians can just laugh their butt off. Okay buddy, better have control over that funny bone of yours. One day you might land up in an asylum wondering just how you got there. You got thrown. Joke’s on you.

Gemini May.22-Jun.21
‘Now you see them, now you don’t.’ What does that mean? No worries, I’ll tell you. They have a very elusive behavior. And guess what? Got caught bunking classes. So people, no need to put up with their disappearing act anymore. You’ll find them in detention room for sure.

Cancer Jun.22-Jul.23
To do some things it requires guts. And that’s something Cancerians have in abundance. Take advantage and ask them to do you a favor. But if they get socked, it will hardly be a surprise to see you socked too.

Leo Jul.24-Aug.23
The king (or the highness) of the jungle (No offense, you are being compared to a king, even if it’s of a JUNGLE) is demanding and hates being dependent. Wow, what luck for the future……spouse. Favorite quote: mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the fairest of all? (Well, we have no doubts about whom, do we?)

Virgo Aug.24-Sept.23
Damn confusing. They either talk a lot or hardly talk. (God knows, maybe they are shy). But when they do bring out their loquaciousness, they tend to go over the board sometimes and get into an argument. What happens then? WHAM! “Hey…. hey, pal. Why am I seeing stars during daylight?” (Good question)

Libra Sept.24-Oct.23
The most charming of all signs, they try to convince some people of their genuine concern. Its no wonder that people think that they are just poking their nose into their personal business. No one admires a good human being these days, I tell you.

Scorpio Oct.24-Nov.22
Naughty. And boy, are they naughty! Sometimes it makes us wonder why they make frequent visits to the head’s office. They are the ultimate ‘go anywhere do anything’ kind of people. By the way, was that a bomb blast we just heard?

Sagittarius Nov.23-Dec.21
Most Sagittarians are cleanliness freaks. They have a habit of cribbing about things strewn all over the place. Take our advice and never leave your stinking socks lying around or the next thing you know, they would have entered the guineas books of world records for the loudest scream. (Do keep earplugs in handy….for emergency.)

Capricorn Dec.22-Jan.20
Statutory warning: harming the ego of a Capri is dangerous to health. Else, everyone might wonder how you became black and blue. Congratulations, by the way. You just turned multicolored. A message for Capris: throw away the road map for a change for a change and walk the path less traveled.

Aquarius Jan.21-Feb.19
The water bearer is independent and of course, is forever on CLOUD 9#. Let us give you a warning here. Never go for a walk with an Aquarian pal. You never know when you may require transportation to take them to the hospital. (For running into a tree and cracking their skull)

Pisces Feb.20-Mar20
Being an idealist, money means nothing to them. (It’s no wonder why we might find their pockets empty) They don’t want to be a millionaire, just live like one. Well, you better be careful here or there won’t be any dearth of chances of being kicked out of your own home.

[The above ‘horror’ scope has been written with experience, so the readers better not beat me up, after all I applied brains. (I do have them. Period) and the above may hold true for some while others will have quite an aversion to it. (Grin) Cheers!]

Lessons with Death

I think the post here will speak for itself. So, I don't see the need to summarize or enlighten you about it before hand. And as always, different perspectives are welcome.

I hit, I fell. I hit again. This time it was worse. I cried out in pain. Knew exactly where I was bunged up. But as my mind raced through the episode, I knew I was lucky to be alive.

Sometimes life’s like an allegory. It teaches you a lesson. I learned them too.
Maybe in the next couple of lines I will outline the lessons. For some, I maybe just talking through my hat. Some may see it as a means to think about their future. Some may understand and there’ll be only a few who will empathize.

Those who saw death watched it closely, dealt with it and came out dauntless. I am not just talking about people here who have some ailment, or had an accident of sorts. I am also talking about people who saw their comrades die right in front of their eyes. Doctors who couldn't save the new born infant or a soldier who kept pleading with them to save his life. Those who carried their fathers’ bodies to the crematory knowing that that’s a face they won’t see alive again. I am talking about those mothers whose kids have died in their arms. I am talking about those unknown colleagues who ran alongside each other in order to save themselves when the World Trade Center came crashing down. But later, their bodies were never found.

The Indian Para Commandos have this special training system. For those of you who don’t know, it’s called the ‘Buddy’ system. Each soldier undergoing training is assigned a buddy. Definition of a buddy – ‘friend’. Definition of a friend – ‘one attached to another by affection or esteem. A favored companion.’ Definition of a ‘Buddy’ in Paras’ – “When I first look into the eyes of my buddy, I know he’ll be beside me at all times during an operation. He’ll give me water when I am injured and thirsty. He’ll carry my body back home if I die. He’ll have my back and I’ll have his.” That’s just a superficial way of putting it. I am sure it goes much deeper than that.
And only the troopers themselves will be able to give you a better outlook on this structure.

The efforts here are to elucidate the fact that these are the kind of people who see death more closely than anyone else. LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND. The orders are simple. A soldiers’ or a doctors’ life is the mother of all epitomes where man has to deal with death more often than not.

To make the subject a little lighter, I wonder if any of you have seen the movie ‘Meet Joe Black’? A simple movie, but worth a watch. The urge is to engage in confabulation about the movie, but I’ll spare you readers that. ‘Death takes a vacation and falls in love’ is all the movie is about. You might as well see it and unfurl the mystery yourself.

Getting back to our serious death talks, I’ll give you a small silhouette on the lesson I learned. Rather, the LESSONS I learned.

Would it be too lackluster a way for me to put them down in points? I'll do it anyways.

1. Life’s beautiful is the first lesson I learned.

2. I learned to love my parents and try to quit taking them for granted.

3. I learned that if there are 1000 things you are careful about, there’ll be a 1001 thing that’ll spoil it all. But it does not mean that I have a laid back attitude towards those 1000 things. (My dad taught me this)

4. I learned that when I was in pain, I was not the only one. There were strangers around who were going through much worse.

5. The true test of any relationship is in adverse situations. I had wonderful parents, a lovely family and great friends who cared immensely for me. I learned to try and respect them.

6. I learned to be brave, strong and independent even in disability.

7. I learned to laugh at my own stupidity, at the situation I was in and also during it. (I had some help there, for there were folks who did their best to make THAT activity happen! But I can’t begin to tell you how much my shoulder smarted because of it shaking in absolute mirth. You see, I had broken my shoulder bone.)

8. I learned that no matter how bad I looked on the outside, when I smiled, I looked beautiful and well enough to anyone who passed by.

9. I learned to believe in that external force, which decided that the Angel of Death did not need me yet.

10. And lastly, I learned to be happier with whatever life had to offer to me. It takes efforts, it is still taking efforts, but I am getting there.

These are just one odd of the major ones. Humans deal with catastrophic situations at some stage of their lives or the other. What they uncover from it is what makes a difference. The whole idea of writing this is not to preach or sermonize, but to send out the usual message which may sound like a cliché to most of us.

‘Sometimes God gives you a long time to live. Sometimes He snatches it away way before than expected. It’s not what you did that made it worthwhile; it’s what you cultivated out of whatever you did that made it worthwhile. The thrill of living is in being satisfied and living with no regrets.’

Cheers to all.

The Girl Child

Most people wondered why a 19 year old girl(now 20) would write something this deep. Everytime someone read this piece, they had a question for me, "What made you write this?" I honestly have no concrete answer to it, but for the fact that I myself long for a girl child and that she is the most beautiful thing that can ever happen to anyone. So, to all you readers out there....Never give your girl up, DONT kill her before she is even born. You'll never know what is in store for you. Life's full of surprises, isn't it? So, why shy away from it?


Each day passes by and I long to see that entrancing smile, the big round innocent eyes, to hear that musical laughter and hold your hands in mine. Each day brings some thought as to how beautiful you are going to be when you open your eyes in this new world.

People may call me funny, fatuous, and even laugh at me for forming a kingdom of my own dreams consisting of just you and me. But, oh, how I long to hold you in my arms just to watch you look up at me with those big bambi eyes and smile knowing that I’ll always be there to take care of you and love you as I would never love anyone on this planet. In our kingdom, you will be the princess who would bring about nothing but plethora of joy and hope to this empty world.

The first ray of sunshine, and I will know that I have been gifted love, the love I could never gain from any other man or woman.

All four seasons I will feel nothing but sheer pleasure of having you with me in an otherwise cold world. My heart aches to embellish you with the jewels of an angel and with a happy sigh two words will escape my lips - my angelic princess.

Being only human, there are certain fears, but life without you scares me the most. You will be this ethereal being, the one I could look at forever and never tire. You will be the heart of my body, the air that I breathe and the beautiful dreams of my crazy mind.

And once you are in my arms, my princess, I will cherish you forever and till death do us apart. And today, that’s a promise I vow never to break.

MY - the word often used.

This is probably going to be the shortest piece I have written. As the title suggests, the word MY is being used often. I have a live example and it also was the inspiration to make me write this. If you decide to notice closely all my posts' titles are starting with 'MY'. Why? Is it all mine? If I am true to myself, it's not.

There are these beautiful lines in the newspaper today(The Times of India) which caught my attention. His Holiness Dalai Lama says, "Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationship with others."

The word 'My' rarely does exist. Most of our actions are in accordance with the people around us. A family survives because they live for each other. Nature calls for animals to hunt other animals or even for that matter man to hunt these animals. We eat everyday because there are farmers growing crops for us. Everything in this world was not made for us. It's the very greed that makes us no less than animals. Nothing belongs to us because once we die, we dont die with what we call "mine" except the name, which also if you think logically, is not entirely ours. Because if not one, there are atleast two people in the world with the same name.

Innocuous statements....maybe just an incentive for people to think including me MYself. And different perspectives are always welcome.
All the best.

My French Connection

I shall make this short and sweet. My dog is simply ADORABLE. Read on....


I sat in a precarious position on the edge of the sofa, trying in vain to ward my dog off from scratching my legs anymore than he already had. The red marks on my legs (long enough for a 172cm tall girl), seemed eminently fascinating. In my opinion, they made cute red designs against the cream of the skin.

Sure you are wondering whether the bone of contention here is my dog or the trademarks of that very same animal. By the way, he is called, Bonzo.
So, I shall do the honour of elucidating the subject matter here, which definitely is Bonzo. Did you have to guess?
Now that we are clear on that piece, let me delineate the salient features of this LITTLE creature.

First glance and I will not be surprised if you ask me, “Was he dropped on his nose when a pup?” While most dogs have a muzzle, mine sports ‘hardly a muzzle’. Here, let me highlight his breed which is a French bulldog. Do bear with the fact that he half looks like a pig (No, he doesn’t grunt!). You pass the door or ring the doorbell, each sound will have him running towards the front door (slipping all over the tiles), barking his loudest. It is his way of making his presence felt while otherwise I would have simply termed him taciturn. But, I would not really ask you to believe that because an occasional whine does come when he wants food or as we humans say, would like to relieve himself.

Flamboyant ears connected to an equally flamboyant head which is turn is joined to his ‘slightly extra fat’ body. I may not know about you, but without doubts, this “innocent looking” four legged animal is as adorable as they come.

Most people would agree with me that dogs have three MAJOR pastimes. And these are sleeping, eating and staring at those eating in an extremely guileless way. Bonzo has a third one attached to his, which I can define in just two words – sock fetching. Remember the girl who got scratched in the beginning of this masterpiece. Well, it all actually begins with those two very words. Cheers!

My Life or a Teenager's?

I have no idea what overcame me that I wrote this piece of work, but I am sure all those who ARE in their teens and all those who WERE, both would understand it. Perception is what matters. Isnt there a famous saying? "Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder".
Read and start thinking.:)


There is so much stuff I have written in my life, but never once about MY life (yes, I do decide to emphasize on that particular word). So, here it goes. Or rather, here I go.

I write in my most vulnerable state, about the things which any normal teenager goes through. I will not exactly call myself a normal teenager, but I am getting there.
You may say that this 19 (almost 20) year old is a little rebellious, a little eccentric, a slight (okay, maybe lots) craver of carte blanche. The point is, one can be very different, so totally based on their own dogmas of life, completely based on their own logic, that their surroundings find it difficult to comprehend or decipher them. I definitely belong to this category. And the biggest catch of it all is that I find it an extremely arduous task to explain this very logic to the crowd. Maybe one could tell me how to delineate or outline the self-logic to, at times relentless, intractable crowd.

I may even guarantee that more than 70% of us feel the way I feel. We feel the desperate need to do our own thing, to feel and to explore this world. But the forces of nature are not always under our command. On another note, maybe we should not expect them to be, because they never work at anyone’s command. But then, they don’t work for us either. There was a quote by Logan Pearsall Smith that I came across during my continued surfing of the internet (not an unusual activity where we are concerned, I’ll give you that).

“Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find a face of his own”.

And it could only make me think deeper and deeper. Maybe it was true. If it is, then, can the crowd I spoke about earlier see the way it is expected to be seen? Then again two words instantly form in my “young” mind – maybe, maybe not.

We teenagers are decried, berated, subjected to a lot of criticism in our life. If I could, I would add many more synonyms here. Agreed it is for our own good. But can one ALWAYS know the well-being of another?

We do try to form a win-win situation between ourselves and the rest of the world. All that occurs is a win-lose situation. Well, mostly! Somehow, this sentence reminds me of a poem I had read in ‘Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul’. It is very easy to write a short summary of it here.

‘A girl goes to this store dressed shabbily and as if she is the most colorful creature on this planet. In our language, they are called ‘the Punks’. The security guard doesn’t take his eyes off her, somehow, quite vehemently believing that she would steal. So, when the alarm actually goes off, he makes his way towards this girl in utmost surety just to see her pay for her blue nail paint while the rest of the security nabs a well dressed woman.’ I am sure there isn’t even a need to guess who the culprit is.

Prejudices, pre-assumptions all formed in our favor. I should not use the word ‘favor’ but then I am not sure if I can find a better one as I am half wanting to sleep. But is it fair? Why is there a need to be so biased? Is it that difficult to accept us the way we are?

I know I have deviated from the main point. It all started with my life and has come down to our life. So, maybe I have already gotten there. Maybe, I am one of the normal teenagers. And very soon I will 'have been' one of the normal teenagers. Well, the age changes, but the spirit doesn’t.

Angel on Earth (poem)

This was a poem I had written for my Mother's birthday about a year and a half ago. I never could think of a suitable title for it then and didn't give it one. But today, when I re-typed it here, it just sprung open. I never knew but she is an angel in disguse. She may behave otherwise sometimes(he he he :D), but I know in my hearts of hearts that she is. Cheers to all 'ANGEL' moms out there.
Here goes....


I opened my eyes
Unfocused
Not knowing this new world.
Unclear, uncertain
These eyes searched for some light
And there it was!
In the smile
Of the first my kind I saw.
The face I came to recognize
The face of my mother.
I put out my hand
And felt it being clasped
In a warmer one.
I came to trust that hand
Knowing it'll be there
Whenever I fall.
18 now
I look behind
And I see her there
Pushing me, urging me
Teaching me
To face the world
And no matter how old I grow
I will always know
In body, with me or not
Her force of love and care
Forever will be there
Raising me, making me stronger
So that in this crazy world
I last longer.
With my head held high
No regrets
And the love bestowed on me by her
Safely locked in my heart.